you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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