Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
