why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
