You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
