im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
