Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
