Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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