I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
