With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
