I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
