Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
are you so shy because you have an std?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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