shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
