My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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