KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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