Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
