The best revenge is premature balding
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
