we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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