Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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