I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
