..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
