Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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