Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
