Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
