I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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