Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
