try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
