I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he was CRYING into my vagina
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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