I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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