So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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