Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
