So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
