I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
