She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
