bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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