somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
