Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm bleeding and have questions
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
