You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
