This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
