Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
