How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
