Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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