it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
