Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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