So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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