There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
