your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Randomize
