I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
