you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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