That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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