Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We are all done wearing pants today
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
